How to use stainless steel sex toys

Stainless steel sex toys are having a serious moment in the media. Did you do a double-take after reading that? That was no error. The best thing to happen to your sex toy collection: Stainless. Steel. 

Now this may sound a little bit (or very) intimidating, but don’t worry. These toys offer truly intense stimulation, are easy to use, and last for a lifetime. While they do high-key look like they’re medieval torture devices straight out of the Tower of London, they truly are fantastic for sex, no matter how kinky or vanilla your persuasion. And while they are expensive, they’re an investment that will last longer than some lesser-made toys in your nightstand.

“Stainless steel sex toys are brilliant because they feel so damn good,” says Lucy Rowett, a certified sex coach and clinical sexologist. “The combination of the weight, the texture, and the fact [that] you can warm them up or make them cool adds a whole new dimension to sex.

Stainless steel sex toys are the heavyweights (literally) of sex toys, and we should all get on board. If you’re feeling curious — and maybe a little bit turned on — here is everything you need to know about using stainless steel sex toys to have a truly epic sexual adventure. 

The appeal of stainless steel sex toys. 

Firstly, while these toys are, like, completely terrifying at first glance, they’re actually freakin’ gorgeous. Dr. Celina Criss, a certified sex coach specializing in BDSM and gender, sexuality, and relationship diversity, says that their aesthetic appeal lies in the “sleek lines and well-weighted designs that can feel like a work of art as well as a sensually exciting toy.” They’re also hella shiny.

Stainless steel toys have weight. They can add pressure and intensity to your sexual play without having to put in a lot of effort. These toys engage the entire clitoral structure (both internal and external), can massage the G-spot with the pressure of a deep tissue massage, and even bring the nerve-rich anal opening into play. 

These toys really make the most of gravity. “Heavy, with no flexibility to move around, [they] give the benefit of pinpointed stimulation and a sense of ‘density,'” adds Julieta Chiaramonte, a kink instructor, writer, and sex expert. Anyone into (or curious about!) the sensation of fullness will appreciate the meditative heft of a stainless steel toy.

The benefits of using stainless steel toys.

There are so many benefits to using stainless steel toys. Besides their weight, they are perfect for anyone who finds ABS plastic or silicone toys to be lacking in sensation or otherwise unpleasant from a tactile point of view. 

What’s more, because they are made from high-grade metal, “stainless steel [toys are] a godsend for those with sensitive skin, [because they] put pressure in all the right spots,” without exposing you to any allergens that may be irritating, says Chiaramonte. This is especially important for anyone with sensitivities to latex or other phthalates.

They’re also amazing for temperature play. Try “cooling it off in the fridge or warming it up with some hot water,” Chiaramonte adds. Be sure to test the toy’s temperature with your fingers before placing it on the genitals. No one wants to get burned.

Lastly, these toys are dope AF because they are SO easy to clean, “which is essential for safer sex play if toys are being shared by partners,” Criss says. You can, no joke, drop a stainless steel toy into a pot of boiling water to disinfect it. Doing some dishes? Pop them onto the top rack of the dishwasher and call it a day. You can even sanitize them with UV light!

Keep in mind that some of these toys do vibrate and contain electromechanical components. For these, warm water and soap will do the trick for cleaning.

How to use stainless steel sex toys.

• Always use lube. 

Stainless steel toys are compatible with all forms of lube (oil-based, silicone, or water-based). Because they are metal, you want to be sure they have a lot of slip when you’re using them. Friction is the enemy. The more lube the better.

• Go slowly.

“Take time to read your care instructions and handle your toys gently and they’ll last a lifetime,” Criss says. You want to take your time to get to know your toy before you go shoving it all up in yourself or a partner. 

When you start using it, Rowett says you should still move more slowly. “As both the inside of the vagina and anus respond best to pressure, think sensual and slow pressure and movements so that you and your partner can feel EVERYTHING.” Now is not the time for the jackhammer in-and-out … but then again, is it ever the time for the jackhammer? You may even not want to move the toy once it’s inserted; lots of folks enjoy the feeling of fullness in and of itself, or combined with other sorts of stimulation.

• Some advice for anal use.

Use a generous amount of lube. Insert the toy into the anal opening slowly. Be sure the receiver is relaxed and breathing into the sensation. Communicate during the play to ensure everyone is comfortable. If the anus is tensed up, penetration can cause pain. This is not normal. If anything hurts, stop, take a beat and decide if you want to continue.

Toy recommendations to get you started on your journey.

You want to be extra careful with stainless steel to be sure you’re not getting a knock-off. “Companies try to sell you cheap metal toys that aren’t even made of stainless steel. To make sure you’re getting top-grade stainless steel, you will have to pay for it. If a toy is being sold too cheaply, stay away,” warns Emme Witt, a BDSM expert and writer. Be sure you’re extra careful when buying products — ensuring they are stainless steel. It’s definitely best to stick to well-known brands, especially if you’re new to these toys.

For anal play: Njoy Wand and b-Vibe

An Njoy wand is perfect for prostate play … and all play, really. The balls on either end of this toy are fantastic for deep stimulation of the p-spot. 

This small metal plug from b-Vibe is also adorable and great for beginners.

For vaginas: L’Acier and Le Wand

Most metal toys that vibrate do not feel very strong, “but L’Acier Shop has mastered the art of dense, slick penetration with POWERFUL vibration that can be added or removed from the stainless steel toys,” Chiaramonte says. 

If you’re looking for something on the smaller side, the chromed steel mini vibe collection from Le Wand is gorgeous, sleek, and powerful.

You can also get stainless steel cuffs, clamps, and other kinky gear — but since this is a 101 guide and these more advanced toys are best made custom, we’ll stick with the basics.

Stainless steel toys may seem daunting, but they are accessible for one and all. They’re an easy way to up the ante on your sex toy collection, explore mind-bending new sensations, and invest in one-of-a-kind toys that will last you a lifetime.

What’s not to love?