Agreeing to host someone for a matter of weeks or months is as easy as saying, “Yes, of course!” However, that warmth can quickly wear off as the reality of long-term hosting sets in. Here’s how to prepare for a pleasant visit.
Once a bad visit is underway, it’s tricky to navigate. You may no longer feel so inclined to host someone who makes a mess or watches Netflix late at night with the volume up. But since you already agreed to be a host, it might seem like there’s no recourse.
The best answer, as it is in most things in life, is to prepare ahead of time. Once your guest is already in your home, having difficult conversations with them is, well, difficult. But if you start before they arrive, you can make everything smoother for both of you.
Whether it’s your cousin who needs a place to stay until they find a new job, or an exchange student spending a few months in a new country, these best practices will help you prepare for any long-term hosting situation.
Host Expectations: Help Them Settle In
First, let’s lay out the expectations for you, the host. What should you be expected to provide for a guest? Here are some areas you can focus on to help the visit start smooth.
Treat Them Like a Short Term Guest (At First)
As a long-term host, you won’t be feeding your guest or buying their toiletries the whole time. The best way to prepare is to purchase enough essentials (food and toiletries) to cover them for a few days, while they’re getting settled and learning where nearby stores and restaurants are. You should also provide things that they can’t be expected to pack, like bedding, pillows, and towels.
Make sure you have essential household items, like toilet paper and laundry detergent, on hand as well. Throughout your guest’s stay, you can ask them to chip in for those needs (more on how to approach that in a bit).
Give Them as Much Privacy as Possible
In addition to providing the basics (temporarily at least, like you’re accommodating a short term guest for a few days) it’s ideal, if possible, to set your guest up in your home in a space that offers the maximum amount of privacy and separate space.
Not everybody has a guest room and a guest bathroom, but a significant source of friction when you’re hosting somebody for an extended visit is the degree to which you feel like you’re in each other’s faces all the time. If your guest has space they can retreat to where there’s no sense of obligation to chat or participate in the household (and no commitment on your side to feel like you have to be a super host), then it’s all the easier to be gracious and relaxed when you are spending time together.
