How TikTok helped me and my dog deal with separation anxiety

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  • February 20, 2022

I never thought I’d say this, but TikTok has become a genuinely useful resource in my life, especially when it comes to my dog, Lola. 

When my husband and I adopted Lola at 12 weeks old, we didn’t know much about her except that she had some attachment issues. She would try to jump in the shower with me, fiercely resisted crate training, and developed a self-soothing habit of sucking and kneading on her favorite blanket. I’m told this may be a result of being weaned too early from her mom.

Eventually these behaviors improved and we chalked them up to puppy habits. But during the pandemic, any concept of separation became laughably nonexistent. So when the lockdown ended and I started to leave the house more, Lola’s old separation anxiety again reared its head. I’d return to puddles on the floor, even though, at four, she’s been house-trained for years, and she wouldn’t touch her food or water until I came back.

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If you have a dog with separation anxiety — defined by the American Kennel Club as “extreme stress from the time you leave [them] alone until you return” — you know how taxing it can be: preparing before you go with Kongs and other distractions to keep your pup busy, crating them to contain destructive behavior, and worrying the entire time you’re gone. 


Our dogs are at risk for developing separation anxiety when our schedules return to normal.

Lola and I aren’t the only ones faced with this renewed challenge. “Now that many of us are sheltering in place or working from home, our dogs are at risk for developing separation anxiety when our schedules return to normal,” said the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals in a document from its COVID-19 resource hub. That coupled with the fact that approximately 23 million American households acquired a pet during the pandemic, according to an ASPCA survey, has made separation anxiety a suddenly prevalent issue. 

So, what do you do about it? On a whim, I turned to TikTok, where hashtags related to animals with separation anxiety have millions of views — and then, of course, TikToks about separation anxiety started handily showing up on my For You Page. The surprise was finding out how useful they were. 

One of the first videos I discovered was about how not to leave the house, from a veterinarian named Dr. Adam Christman. In a dramatic rendition, Christman prolongs his departure from his four dachshunds with frantic assurances, jangling his keys. The message is simple yet effective: Don’t make a big deal about leaving, don’t do things that might put them on edge, don’t give dogs a reason to worry. It’s standard advice but a valuable reminder, and it was delivered to me in an entertaining, actionable amuse-bouche that required zero search effort on my end. 

Screenshot of TikTok of Dr. Christman giving affection to his dogs

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

Screenshot of TikTok of Dr. Christman jangling his keys

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

That said, it’s important to call out some caveats to using TikTok for dog training. Christman and other pets experts I talked to for this story are explicit that their videos are not, nor should be, a replacement for working directly with vets or trainers. They provide general tips and resources that should be used with discretion and best judgment. There’s a lot of bad advice out there, and anyone can claim to be an expert. Christman says to look at credentials, other social media profiles, and online presence to see if someone’s legit. Do your due diligence, and trust your gut. You can always run a suggestion by your own vet or another trusted source to double-check legitimacy. Above all, pay attention to how your pet responds. If ever they seem upset or bothered by a training technique, it’s time to try something else. 

Digestible information at your fingertips

When the pandemic hit, Christman, who is chief veterinary officer of MJH Life Sciences, a media company for healthcare professionals, noticed that his fulltime colleagues were being inundated by the rising demand for veterinary services.

“I said to myself, ‘Well, let me make some simple, digestible information that might take away the stress of the [office reception] phones.” That way, vets wouldn’t be overwhelmed by unnecessary or non-urgent visits. In the summer of 2020, Christman started sharing all kinds of veterinary information on TikTok, from how to prevent a reverse sneeze to pet cleaning hacks. Since then, his TikToks have generated more than 18 million likes and 757,000+ followers. “People like me on TikTok because I’m a crazy-ass dog Dad, and yet I’m also a veterinarian,” he says. “They’re like, he’s acting like a deranged lunatic like I am, how cool is that?’ So there’s that connection.”


Trainers, veterinarians, and other pet experts have succeeded on TikTok because they’ve figured out how to pack their message into this formula. 

TikTok is really good at keeping our attention. The music, the captions, the trends, and yes, the highly personalized algorithm — it’s all part of a precisely calculated formula that, frankly, works really well. But just because #dogtok videos are easy to consume doesn’t mean they lack substance. To their great credit, trainers, veterinarians, and other pet experts have succeeded on TikTok because they’ve figured out how to pack their message into this formula. The result is an information-dense bite that goes down easy.  

That’s exactly what drew me to Jennifer Malawey’s TikToks. Malawey, a trainer based in Washington State who specializes in behavioral issues, breaks down underlying concepts behind behavior, like how dogs become fearful, or the threshold spectrum of calm to full-blown panic. Learning what Lola might be thinking or feeling helps me to understand her on a deeper level, which in turn informs my training. 

TikTok screenshot of Malawey talking about how dogs become fearful

Credit: TikTok / @dizzydancingdog

TikTok screenshot of Malawey talking about how dogs become fearful

Credit: TikTok / @dizzydancingdog

Any expert will tell you there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to separation anxiety. But by focusing on the nuances of training, Malawey’s TikToks helped me define what worked for us. Like how to distinguish between separation anxiety and boredom, or why Kongs and food puzzles may work well for some dogs, but others might be too anxious to play with them and develop a negative association with treats. Or that crate training can sometimes make separation anxiety worse, which explains why Lola hated it. Every TikTok from Malawey and others was like adding another layer of paint to the big picture of separation anxiety.

And, with TikTok, I can passively gather information instead of carving out time to watch training videos or do a training session (and, sure, look up what I find on TikTok at my leisure to learn more). All this takes only the effort to move my thumb and scroll through my phone, which is something I do anyway. 

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Malawey said she used to do livestreams on YouTube, but switched to TikTok for precisely this reason: “I think most people prefer to consume content that is fast-paced in little nuggets, [as in] ‘I can take this information and apply it.'” 

Direct connections and conversations 

“Facebook is where you let people know that people are dead; Instagram is great because we love to showcase how adorable our fur babies are; but then there’s TikTok, that’s where the party’s at,” summarized Christman. 

For Christman, it’s the ability to interact directly with people all over the world that makes TikTok such a powerful medium. Along with his videos, he goes live every night (sometimes twice a day) to answer questions. During these sessions, he’s often asked about behavioral issues like separation anxiety, which gives him the opportunity to respond in a more in-depth manner. “When somebody asks about separation anxiety, there’s more to it than that. I think of the conversation like, ‘tell me about their day, tell me about your day, and how did we get to where we feel that your dog suffers from separation anxiety?'” 

TikTok screenshot of Dr. Adam Christman holding his dachsund while conducting a TikTok live

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

TikTok Live screenshot of Dr. Christman kissing his dachsund

Credit: TikTok / @dr.adamchristman52

Having an online presence is obligatory for any dog trainer these days, but Malawey is also on TikTok for an altruistic reason. “When people either come back and just leave a comment, like ‘this trick worked really great’… [or] people who joined regularly on live streams, and they come back and they’re like, ‘You’ve helped so much,’ said Malawey. “You don’t get tired of hearing that. Because that’s why I’m there. I’m there to help.”

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There’s a whole community out there, and they want to help

For the trainers on TikTok, there are real stakes involved with getting the right information into the hands of pet owners. Devin O’Donnell, a trainer from Montreal, got his start by training dogs at animal shelters to increase their likelihood of them being adopted and not returned. Of the returns O’Donnell has witnessed, many of them were first-time dog owners. “And those people — and I don’t blame them, it’s not their fault — but those people were shocked that it’s a lot of work.”


Even if it’s just giving them support, it could mean the difference between keeping or surrendering a dog.

O’Donnell says a lot of the issues for which dogs are being returned to shelters are just puppy behavior, like biting or jumping. Through his videos and interacting with followers, he feels like he’s really helping people. Even if it’s just giving them support, it could mean the difference between keeping or surrendering a dog. “If you kind of talk to people and encourage them, they’ll feel better about the situation, but if not, they might be overwhelmed,” he says.

O’Donnell specializes in puppy training, which means preventative measures like never forcing a puppy into their crate, so they learn to love it as a safe space. If your dog already has separation anxiety, this doesn’t apply, but O’Donnell says teaching boundaries and clear directives from the beginning helps puppies not to develop behavior issues. 

TikTok screenshot of O'Donnell sharing puppy tips

Credit: TikTok / @cashcommands.dogtraining

TikTok screenshot of O'Donnell sharing how to deal with separation anxiety

Credit: TikTok / @cashcommands.dogtraining

The encouragement and context he provides is helpful for first-time and established pet owners alike, since knowing how hard it is to raise a dog doesn’t necessarily make it easier. But it’s a comfort to have the resources and broader community at my fingertips. And seeing the hundreds of comments thanking the creators and reinforcing that it works reminds me I’m in the right place.

“You can be your authentic self on TikTok. I feel like no one really judges you there,” said Christman. “You see everyone dancing, being silly doing their thing, being creative. And it’s this open dialogue that you’re you don’t feel dumb to ask a question. And you have the ability for people to support you.” 

It’s incremental, but Lola has definitely made progress, and I’m motivated to reach the point where I don’t feel a twinge of panic when leaving the house. Until then, I’ll scroll with purpose and conviction. 

Source : How TikTok helped me and my dog deal with separation anxiety