Another Saturday Nigth Live commercial spoof means another skit with Michael B. Jordan in a nice button-up. I really can’t complain. This time around SNL host Jordan and the cast portray Southwest Airlines employees presenting to viewers the new and improved Southwest experience.
The team at Southwest is sort of apologizing for the mess that happened over the holidays and according to them are “dedicated to a new, more modern Southwest Experience.” These changes include updating the communications systems to 2008 Dell computers along with a “no more missing baggage” guarantee.
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“From here on out, all luggage is sorted by color,” says one southwest agent (Marcello Hernández).
“That makes it your responsibility, not ours,” another agent responds (Michael Longfellow). So make sure to bring red bags if you’re going to Dallas, cause the blue ones are heading to Charlotte.
Quickly, however, the allure of an actual apology from Southwest is gone as it becomes quite clear that the airline employees are sick of our shit. Jordan states that in-flight staff is being upgraded to former Waffle House employees because “these big bitches don’t play.”
Heidi Garner agrees that mistakes were made, but some of that was on you too.
“You bought a Southwest ticket,” Garner says. “You obviously don’t respect yourself, so why should we?”