Despite being able to snag a date with a few swipes, dating has arguably never been more complicated. TikTok is abound with hypotheses on how to find one’s soulmate like the “meet people twice theory,” while strangers might be hitting you up on LinkedIn or Duolingo.
To help cut through the noise, Mashable reached out to apps and experts about what daters can expect for the rest of the year.
Dating low (pressure) and slow
In its latest D.A.T.E. Report, Hinge identified several ways LGBTQ daters in particular can foster greater emotional intimacy — the #1 topic for these daters — and one of them is the “slowmance.” The app defines this as dating more consciously by slowing down the pace, as well as establishing boundaries and setting intentions.
Setting clear intentions has been a dating trend since lockdown ended, likely fostered by literal and figurative existential feelings at the start of the pandemic. Some folks rushed into things because of this as well, but we’ve seen fast breakups as a result. So, lockdown-era courtship could be here to stay, at least for some people.
One tactic to ease into a slomance is a low pressure date, another element of Hinge’s latest D.A.T.E. report, which surveyed over 14,000 LGBTQ Hinge users worldwide. A low pressure date spot isn’t a bar, but more like a coffee shop.
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Dropping the dating icks
Dating icks are all the rage on TikTok, but at least some daters are sick of them. In a survey of more than 2,700 U.S. adults aged 18-35 commissioned by Bumble earlier this year, 67 percent believed people need to move past surface-level “icks” and embrace others for who they are.
Icks can be interpreted as “red flags,” and in its “Green Flag Study,” Tinder found that some people interpret green flags as red ones. There’s an “assumptions epidemic,” Tinder determined, where both men and women assume what the other wants without getting to know each other.
For example, 53 percent of men want a romantic relationship but think fewer women do, when actually 68 percent of women want the same thing (in a study of 8,000 18-34 year-olds in the U.S., UK, Canada, and Australia commissioned by Tinder).
It’s time to stop seeing a match for their potential red flags or icks, and start seeing them as a person that contains multitudes — just like you.
Moving away from apps
Even dating apps themselves have identified that their users are burnt out. They’re trying to help this, like with Bumble’s move to let men message first with Opening Move (users have had mixed reactions) and Hinge’s unanswered message limit. In an email with Mashable, Tinder said it’s addressing dating fatigue with features like Matchmaker.
For some, however, the answer might be to delete the apps. Somatic sex educator and chief education educator at CBD intimate product brand Foria, Kiana Reeves, said one prediction for the rest of 2024 is moving away from dating apps.
“With the dating world now at our fingertips with apps like Tinder, Hinge, Raya, and Bumble, it’s never been easier to connect to romantic suitors. Yet many people I talk to are frustrated and overwhelmed by online dating. Why?” Reeves asked. “While there are benefits to apps like these, one thing that can be challenging is missing out on the senses that typically cue us into attraction.”
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Sensations like sight, smell, hearing, and touching someone in-person is a better way to assess chemistry, Reeves continued. “Online dating can also leave us feeling burnt out, with lots of short and shallow inquiries that lack the real depth of connection many are looking for.”
So, Reeves predicts that this year and in the coming years, IRL dating will come back. Otherwise, she’s also noticed a trend of people prioritizing their own well being instead of finding a partner. Especially if they just went through a breakup or other major life change, folks are “dating themselves” instead.
This approach is healthy, Reeves said, because it allowed everyone to home in on what they want and what their expectations are.
“It also gives them time to check in with themselves, and get back in sync with their body and mind before forging a new relationship,” said Reeves. “Entering into the dating scene with an assured sense of self can help people feel more confident and make less impulsive decisions based on insecurities or social pressure, which will ultimately lead to a more fulfilling relationship.”
