Hello, class of 2019. Welcome to the biggest day of your life… so far. (High School Musical 3: Senior Year via Walt Disney Pictures) I know you’re probably super uncomfortable right now. Graduation gowns are itchy and hot, and you’ve already sat through a few random speakers. Plus what is with these grad caps? Were they just designed to make us uncomfortable and simultaneously look horrible on our heads? Whatever, that’s beside the point. Truthfully, I don’t care if you’re uncomfortable. I got the grades and I wrote this speech, which means you’re all required to listen to me for the … Continue reading “If Graduation Speeches Were Honest, They Might Sound Something Like This”
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