I Am Healed

I am healed, I know who I am, and I know the work God has called me to do.

This is a big deal.

I have spent the past three decades as a largely broken and wounded human being. I have been a person who was seeking healing, and finding healing, but just taking baby steps forward healing day by day, week by week.

Even now, all the elements of this process through which I was broken, I was wounded, and sought to put the pieces of my life back together are not things I can talk about publicly with complete transparency. Yet. My family and closest friends know about this, but many do not.

So much in our lives is hidden from public view, even when we are people who share on social media frequently. “We only see the surface of the iceberg,” and we only see a small portion of that in many cases, when it comes to the lives of other human beings.

Here is what I want to say today: I thank God that right now, I feel more healed than I ever have before. 

Different experiences can be clarifying for us. Sometimes when we seek new employment or a new path in life, even when a door closes or we choose to close a door, it can be clarifying. It is as important to know what we do NOT want to do and who we do NOT want to be, as to know who we are and who we aspirationally want to become.

The most important element of my identity is that I know I am a child of God. God has walked with me every step of my life, even when I have ignored him or launched out on my own without an awareness of his existence and invitation. God has walked with me, and continues to walk with me. Not because I deserve it, not because I have won His favor. He loves me because I am his child. That is what good parents do. Good parents love their children unconditionally.

The second most important element of my identity is that I am a husband, spouse, and life partner to Shelly, who is the love of my life and a direct gift from the Lord.

The third most important element of my identity is that I am a father and a parent. Parenting, its responsibilities and challenges, its opportunities and gifts, does not end when your kids leave your house and venture out into the wider world. Parenting never ends. The opportunity to be a parent is a privilege and a gift.

Lastly, there are professional elements to my identity. Because I wore a blue uniform for almost 6 years and the privilege of wearing those colors in an official capacity was prematurely terminated, it’s been a challenge to rediscover and redefine my professional identity. But I know what it is now. And I am very thankful for that.

I am a teacher and a professional educator.

I am a media literacy advocate, and a catalyst for creative, collaborative, engaged and transformative learning. I happen to be a middle school teacher currently, and I absolutely love my role and the autonomy it affords me to live into my personal, professional mission.

But my professional roles and mission go beyond what I say and do in the classroom and in the four walls of our school. 

I am called to be a “culture healer, not a culture warrior.”

In a season of political polarization and rising authoritarianism, I am called to join with others as voices in the wilderness preaching a gospel of reconciliation and peace, of love and justice. In a world filled with “rage bait” and outrage, I am called to advocate for listening, collaboration, mutual respect, meaningful dialogue, and ethical citizenship.

I am not fully healed, but I am mostly healed. 

And for these things, I am very, very thankful.

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